$ in hand, finally on my way

I have to confess I always feel uncomfortable withdrawing large amounts of cash from my bank. These days, do they assume I'm a drug dealer or a terrorist? If it's followed by a larger deposit a few days later, does that mean I've bought wholesale and sold retail? In any event I dread the whole ritual, the long pause while the teller goes back to the vault, the brief appraisal from the supervisor to clear the transaction, the curious glances of other customers and tellers as the bills are slowly counted. My cheeks burn with a tinge of guilt and shame as I withdraw many months worth of teller salaries to some to go gamble with.

Afterwards, with a thick wad of bills bulging comfortably in my pockets, the trip suddenly feels more real, and the nagging worry that I might suddenly wake from this dream in a cubicle with a portfolio to rebalance goes away.